Three Hours!

This post will be a whine-a-thon. Fuckin deal with it.

I'm at work three hours early, with maybe five hours of shitty, fretful sleep, no coffee, and nothing to do. I tried CNN. I got Ashley "Spitzer's Kristen" Dupre suing Joe "Girls Gone Wild" Francis, and Karl "Antichrist Understudy and source of all pain and evil on this mortal plane" Rove telling Obama how to win. Yay. There's not even enough on Fark right now to keep me busy for more than twenty minutes.

Maybe I'll just go play some Mah jong and listen to music.

If you have my phone number or my email, please feel free to keep me entertained!

This..... is CNN.

(in the interest of full disclosure, I should let you know that my father works for CNN. Although, I'm not really sure how that influences my feelings on this particular matter...)

A Billion Dollars a month spent on the war.

A National Economy in free fall.

The world food shortage.

Syrian Nuclear Ambitions.

The election.

And what is at the top of CNN.com's "Most Popular News" Header right now?

"Shirley Temple Black breaks arm." No. Not kidding. CNN, once the proud bastion of brave, quality journalism in an ugly sea of shitty evening news programming and bad newspapers, has been reduced to infotainment. The world is more tumultuous now than it has been in five decades, and they're covering a geriatric boo-boo.

I support the death penalty for consumers of this dreck!

Anyone who thinks it is more important to read about an octogenarian child star than it is to read about the political crisis in Zimbabwe should not be reading a news site. They should be watching E, and getting so fat on other people's problems that their distended bellies grow and grow and grow until they rupture, drowning in pools of salty fat and pus built up from taking in all that horrid degradation. Leeches. Fuck 'em.

Go stupefy yourself with TMZ, and STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY NEWS!

Oh man.

I can blog from my phone. Oh. My. Gawd! I am going to be the most obnoxious motherfucker while I get my fill of this!

No good will come of this. None at all.

And fuck you and your judgments. Haven't you heard of creative irony? Postmodernism? The post-Nixon-era-pre-punk-grung-core-ninja-sauce-art-scene-scene scene? Get with the times!

angrycubiclefist!

...because I fucking can, bitches! yeah!

The very next day!

Incredible! I know!

Having the urge to write in this thing again is strange. I guess I'm just getting back to feeling self righteous again these days. Because, let's face it, my shit matters more than yours does. It's just the ways things are. No reason to be upset.

I'm feeling a bit political today. Deal with it...

So, HRC managed to slip into that nice little percentage gap to keep this ridiculous ball rolling. She beat BHO by enough to keep her momentum stumbling along, but not by enough to make it even mathematically feasable for her to win the nomination. Somehow she landed her evil little campaign right inside that one percentage point margin of error, and she managed this by courting the rural PA admittedly rascist democrat vote. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not so sure that's going to be a valuable demographic in November. Of course, they might be to John "I'll never stop saying Gook!" McCain. John Stewart's remark about McCain "...resting his balls in a chilled bowl of Howard Dean's tears" is a pretty accurate sentiment right now. There will never be an end to this. Democrats are on the way to losing the easiest election for them to win in nearly sixty years, and they're gonna blow it because they can't figure out which oppressed group will fare better against the same old schmuck on the other side. If we fuck this one up, we deserve every shred of what results.

In other news...

I'm doing training calls today. This involves placing a phone call to a training room fifty feet away from me, and pretending to be someone from another state. Occasionally the someone I am pretending to be happens to be a woman (through no choice of my own), and I find myself fighting the urge to get in character. Maybe a crotchety old British marm. But I always catch myself, because that would be "unprofessional", and/or "fun". If someone had done that to me when I was taking these training calls, I would have laughed my ass off. If only we were allowed Irish coffee in the mornings. This stuffy, windowless call center could be center of exuberance and joy for this heartless institution. Sure, there might be some issues with "customer service" and "client retention", but think of how happy we'd all be!

A brief update... (largely redacted)

(When I originally posted this last night, I did not bother reading my previous post, so here is less redundant version)

So, I’m going to give this blogging thing another shot. I’ve been gone for a minute, but I finally have internet at my house again.

To wrap up the "little house in Doraville" saga:

CC went to the store early one November afternoon, and when she returned, there was a letter tacked to the front door. She opened the letter, and found a pleasant little NOTICE OF FORECLOSURE FROM THE MORTGAGE HOLDER! We had been paying this son of a bitch $1400 A MONTH and he had not been paying his mortgage. We found out from the mortgagee that he had been notified of foreclosure in July, but he kept collecting rent like nothing was up.
To make a long story short(er), we’ve been contacted by a nationally syndicated tv show to arbitrate this thing in front of the whole country. That’s right. Our pound of flesh will have ratings!

Next up…..

Our son, LGG. He is rad. He’s huge, and happy as hell. His head is enormous, and so is his smile. I have never loved anything or anyone more. I swore I would never be one of those obnoxious parents that brags about his kid all the time, but the urge is impossible to resist! Worry not, though. I care too much about my son’s privacy to let you jackals read much about him. This will never be a babyblog.

Having lacked internet access outside of work for more than six months and riding MARTA to work has given me a lot of time to get back to reading. A lot. A short sampling of recent reads:

San Francisco is Burning, by Dennis Smith

Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace

The Truth (with jokes), by Al Franken

The Road, by Cormac McCarthy

World War Z, by Max Brooks

And I am currently reading:

Confessions of an Economic Hit Man, by John Perkins

Dead Souls, by Nikolai Gogol

This is a small smattering, and I highly recommend any and all of them. I’m not quite bored or conceited enough today to write literary reviews, but maybe one day soon.

As a result of that wonderful debacle with our landlord in D’ville, we had about two weeks to find somewhere else to live. The two weeks before thanksgiving, by the way. With a new baby. Yeah, that was fun. After several false starts, we settled on a house down in East Point. The rent was cheap, the neighbors are friendly, and it’s far enough away that people pretty much leave us alone. With gas prices skyrocketing (more on that later) it has made transportation a very pricey affair, though. Gas near us is $3.60 a gallon or more, and CC has a sixty mile round trip to work. I’m lucky enough to have a lovely MARTA station right across the street from my building, though, so at least we save there. For the most part, EP is not a bad place to live. The cheapest liquor store I’ve ever found is right down the street from us, and we’re spitting distance from the airport. Oddly enough we hear more trains than airplanes, though…

TD played some really awesome shows in the last year, although not nearly enough of them. The show that sticks out the most was a show we played down in Augusta. The venue was incredible, the staff was awesome (free drinks for the band!) and the atmosphere was just perfect. The crowd was unfortunately sparse, but after the show we were informed by a gathering of bums outside the bar that they had thoroughly enjoyed the show. We discovered that we are BumRock ™ right then and there!

I have also been enjoying whiskey much more lately. The upside to drinking less is that you can drink better. I have friends who are wine and beer snobs, and now I’m the whiskey snob. I’ve found I prefer American whiskeys and bourbons overall, and Tennessee whiskeys in particular. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll never turn down a good scotch, but give me some Jack or some George any day!

So that’s about it for now. I will try to be much more regular with my posts. Maybe a normal semi-annual post or something. This one has taken me all damn day to write, but I’ll do my best to keep up, I really will. Since I know so many of you read this. I know, I know. Eventually I’ll try to get back to snotty opinion pieces about world events that I have no true understanding of. This being an election year, you should prepare yourself…..