Flippety Floppety

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE POLITICIAN ACCUSE SOMEONE OF "FLIP-FLOPPING" I AM GOING TO DROP A DEUCE NAMED "EL GRANDE" ON THEIR CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS' DOORSTEP!

Seriously, this is ridiculous. I apologize for the tacky all caps typing there, but I can't exactly yell at you in person, and in this rare instance, cadence is important to understand my rage. Every time a GOP candidate gives a speech, he derides his Dem opponenet as a flip-flopper, then the Dem steps up to the podium and says the same damn thing. Well done. Thanks for that brilliant interchange.

I don't think of "flip flopping" as such a bad thing. In fact, I think going on public record on the senate or congressional floor, and admitting you were wrong, is pretty damn courageous. I think being brave enough to make an adult decision in such a petulant political system is highly admireable. I think someone needs to come up to that podium one day and say "Yes, I, like most adults in this country, realized that I have made mistakes in what I said. I have taken steps to correct these mistakes, and not follow through with promises I made, which I came to realize were in fact really bad ideas." I remember during the '04 election, a phrase you heard a lot was one admonishing people for trying to "...change your horse midstream." Meaning, of course, that the retarded texan horse we abonded might drown. Wah. I don't want to vote for the candidate who is the most "consistent"(read: stubborn), I want to vote for the candidate who has stones to stand up and admit that he is willing to change his policies if the situation requires it. We do not need a candidate who will stay the course. We need someone who will Bob and fucking Weave.

This shit is giving me ulcers.

Title

I sit at my desk and stare at myself sometimes. I get bored between calls, so I just sit and examine little imperfections I can find, on my arms, legs, any exposed piece of skin that is readily accessible. Sometimes I'll make new discoveries, like a small ingrown hair, ready to be pushed out, and sometimes I'll find old marks I'd forgotten about. Like the small scar on the inside of my wrist. About half an inch long, and barely visible, it reminds of a grumpy fourteen year old, confused and self destructive. I wasn't into the pain, and I was never much of a cutter. The self destruction made me feel more mature though, and that was something I desperately wanted. "Creative Maturity" was a phrase I tossed around a lot, walking around our suburb, sneering with my friends. Having stumbled through a very brief but intense bubble of alcohol and drug use at a young age, by my freshman year of highschool I had become a die-hard adherent of the "straight edge" lifestyle, although I still smoked cigarettes, which I can't remember how I justified. So, given that I could not drink myself to death, I chose to start slicing, and the fact that I still bear the scar is a testament to my determination. I do not scar easily. I won't say it was a cry for help, but I certainly wasn't shy about it. My flirtation with cutting myself lasted the better part of three years. It's fun to look back on it now. Now that Cynicism has replaced idealism. Now that concern has replaced depression. Now that "laughing my ass off" has replaced ambition. I can look back now and start to giggle about how sophisticated I felt reading William Burroughs, even though I had no idea what the hell he was talking about (and still don't). I can sit and tell my friends ridiculous stories about how I would try to put myself to sleep with candles still burning all over my room, wishing they would catch my room on fire, and thereby convincing myself that I was plagued by the same demons as Hemingway and Joyce. And all this, while listening to Limp Bizkit.

Always in threes...

- Tim Russert

- George Carlin

- Jesse Helms!?

I know that celebrity deaths usually come in threes, but they also usually have something in common. Actors, musicians, drug addicts, something. Other than similar melanin deficiencies, what in the name of all that is holy unites these three?

Seriously, I could use some help here.....

That elusive middle ground.....

My job is essentially a complicated form of customer service. Now, having been at the receiving end of shitty customer service, I understand full well the frustration, and I understand the desire to express that frustration. However, having spent more than half of my young life consistently employed in customer service related fields, I also understand the desire to tell that grumpy customer where to stick it. It makes good business sense to retain customers by preventing your employees from confronting a pissy customer in the same way they would confront them on the street. But I firmly believe there should be a line of decency that, once crossed, nullifies the customer/employee standard. I believe this because I believe that some customers are not worth retaining. It's sheer numbers. Why maintain one customer, who generates a small, fixed amount of revenue, when that same customer's abysmal attitude can infect an entire department at your company, and effect untold numbers of your customers, and thus a much larger portion of revenue? It makes no sense. Cut the bastards loose.

I heard a story recently of a girl who lost her job at a fast food restaurant because a morbidly obese customer hurled a hamburger at her face to demonstrate his disapproval, and she had the good sense to shower him with a deluge of profanity that would have made George Carlin blush. A perfectly reasonable response, right? I know! I thought so too! Yet the employee lost her job, and the customer was provided with a number of free meals. This baffles me. I want a call to arms about this. I want a unified national consensus. I want the whole of society to agree that some lines should not be crossed with strangers, in any context, and if you cross them, you are solely responsible for the fallout.

Now I don't mean to go on a rant here, but.......

I'm back! Again!

And here we go. Another round of me pretending that anyone gives half a shit that I'm posting in this thing. A quick run-down of recent events:

- I quit the band

- I still work at CSI/CF

- CCC's car has been in commission, and is now back out again

- LGG is blowing up like the Hindenburg

That's pretty much it. Incredible. I know. I will give anyone who guesses which notch up there is superfluous one of my special patented super sloppy blow jobs.

Anyway, like I said, I quit the band. This was not an easy decision to make. TD was the most satisfying project I have ever worked on, and the ladies in the band are phenomenal friends and musicians. I came to realize that my life, and my obligations to my family, were getting in the way of the band's success, and I chose to bow out rather than impede their growth. JP and I are still working on our ambient project, which has been rechristened Shores of Odessa. This project is still in it's infancy though, so don't expect anything big anytime soon.

Yep. I still jockey my cubicle. Right now I'm working on a few things: getting a promotion / new job within the company, and becoming my department's unofficial library of awesome. I want to be the librarian for the world's smallest, most subjective, yet oddly incredible source of loanable reading material. This got started because I noticed all of my coworkers reading shitty dime store romance novels, and then bitching about how bad their books are. So, I started leaving the books I read at work instead of stacking them up at home, and now I can subject all my coworkers to the elitist literature that makes me such an insufferable prick.

I hate the Ford Taurus. I don't really think I can expound much on that statement.

And yes, LGG is blowing up. The kid is going to eat me out of house and fucking home.

I will leave you now with this most awesome quote, courtesy of EV: "It's like everyone in my life is riding bumper cars, and I'm stuck in the middle just wanting to take a nap."