Amy

Why can't it just be spelled normally anymore? Well, I should specify that this applies to the west coast, mainly. I usually spend the last half of my shift speaking with fuzzy hippies from the pacific northwest, and I have seen some truly ridiculous ways to spell names. But the title name up there is the worst, Bar None.

Some examples:

Amee

Aimee

Amey

Amye

And my personal favorite:

Aymeie

And these are all pronounced like the title above. All of them. Every last pretentious one of them. Why do parents do this? I don't understand what is to gain from this, other than years of unnecessary torment from the child's peers, and snotty pretention when they grow up. I do not understand why parents would intentionally aim their child down a path of fart-huffing douchebaggery. I guess these are just the same kids whose names I've always hated, just grown up. 

I think I'll blow this one out MY ass.